46. Flexibility Misuse + a BossScript for Tough Feedback

Episode 46: Flexibility Misuse + a BossScript for Tough Feedback (Summary)

A listener writes in and asks “What do I do when the flexibility I’ve granted my team gets misused and becomes unsustainable?” Plus, I’ll share a BossScript you can use to signal your caring and intent even while delivering feedback that’s tough to hear. Let’s get started now on Boss Better Now.

Links:
To learn more about Joe Mull, visit his website ​Joemull.com​.
To hear more from Joe Mull visit his YouTube channel​.
To learn how to invite Joe to speak at an event, visit ​Joemull.com/speaking​.
To check date availability or to get a quote for an event, email ​hello@joemull.com​.
To explore options for coaching from Alyssa Mullet, visit ​Joemull.com/coaching​.
For more information on the BossBetter Leadership Academy, visit Joemull.com/academy.
Email the show at bossbetternow@gmail.com.
To leave comments, ask questions, or to message us visit our Boss Better Now Podcast Facebook Page.
Connect with Joe on Instagram.
Connect with Joe on Twitter.
Connect with Joe on LinkedIn.

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Transcript – Episode 46: Flexibility Misuse + a BossScript for Tough Feedback

Joe:
A listener writes in and asks, what do I do when the flexibility I’ve granted my team gets misused and becomes unsustainable. Plus, I’ll share a BossScript you can use to signal your caring and intent, even when delivering feedback that’s tough to hear. Let’s get started now on Boss Better Now.

Alyssa:
You’re listening to Boss Better Now. Please welcome speaker, author, and new member of the NSA national board of directors, Joe Mull.

Joe:
Welcome, BossHeroes, to the show that aspires to be food for your boss soul. If you can use an occasional dose of advice, humor, and encouragement, while tackling the many, many challenges that come with leading teams of people, then I’d suggest you are in the right place. Please welcome my cohost, professional coach extraordinaire, Alyssa Mullet. Hi, my friend.

Alyssa:
Hiya! I am so excited for you. I know you’ve been a part of the NSA – which is the National Speakers Association.

Joe:
You got it.

Alyssa:
Is that right?

Joe:
Yeah.

Alyssa:
Okay, for a long time. And now that you’re part of the leadership, that is amazeballs! Well-deserved. Kudos to you.

Joe:
Thank you. It wasn’t something I aspired to. I was asked to be nominated. I have a speaker-friend…I’ve served at the chapter leadership level on, on the board for chapters for a couple of years. And you know, NSA is a really strong community of, of people who are coaches, consultants, speakers, and experts, and who try to influence the world through the power of ideas. And so, it’s been a wonderful community. It’s probably the group that is the single most responsible for my ability to do this kind of work that I love to do. Um, I’m feeding my family because of what I’ve learned from so many folks in that community. And so, about a year ago, a friend of mine in that community who was on the national board of directors reached out and said I am nominating you via this phone call to run for one of these seats and you’re the only person I’m asking. And I, I hold her in really high regard. And so, it was an extraordinary compliment. So, we talked for a while and I decided that — you know, it was a way to give back and serve. And yeah, so we just — I just started a four-year term that will allow me to just…I’m really excited about what I’m going to learn. There are some really incredible people on the board. And so, I’m, I’m excited about who I will be at the end of that experience and what I will have learned from getting to be a part of the work with those folks.

Alyssa:
That’s a really beautiful way to think about it. Oh gosh! Don’t we all yearn to be part of a community, whether it’s professional-based or personally that lifts us up and helps us, supports us in ways that we couldn’t have even imagined for ourselves? That’s amazing.

Joe:
Absolutely. I have to add another throw-in here for people who are watching on YouTube, on our Boss Better YouTube channel. You may look at me right now and say, what’s going on, Joe? I’m wearing three shirts and the top is a big hoodie. I, I usually wear like a nice dress shirt or something when we record, right? I try to look put together. Um, but I look like Rocky about to run up the steps in the movie, right? And the reason is because there’s no heat in my office today. Apparently, there is an issue here in the building that the landlord is trying to resolve, but it is cold. Okay? It’s down in the thirties overnight, already here in Pittsburgh. And so, I’m like, you know what, I’m just going to have to layer up and knock out a podcast episode with the hoodie. So, thanks for hanging in there.

Alyssa:
You know, we never…he came on screen, and I said something about…I don’t know what I said to you. You came in, you showed up in a hoodie and I came from Flashdance because I have this scarf tied around my head with like the bow out and I got my collar popped. We’re just a picture today. We’re a picture!

Joe:
But you are…You’re totally fashionable! You’re rocking that look and that’s coming back, right? Isn’t the whole 80’s look coming back?

Alyssa:
I have no earthly idea. I only ever dress for what seems like it might work for me personally, the rest of it…if I get on a fashion trend, it is completely accidental.

Joe:
Well, so thank you, BossHeroes, who are watching us on video for tolerating, our various unique appearances today. Well, we’re going to start on the show today, Alyssa, with a question that we got in our BossBetterNow@gmail.com account. We do so value the chance to address our BossHeroes directly and the day-to-day challenges that you’re facing. And I know that one of the reasons we love answering listener questions is because if you have the courage to ask a question about a problem that you’re having, rest assured that it’s a problem other people are having. And so, we all can collectively learn together when you raise your hand and ask for help on a problem. And so, we have an email today from a woman named Haliel, and apologies if I did not quite nail the pronunciation of your name. I apologize. She’s a nurse manager in Oregon and here’s what she says, Alyssa. “I’m a nurse manager at a large OB/GYN clinic. I feel our company does a great job offering our employees flexibility, but more recently it seems to be taken advantage of by our staff. Just today I have four employees needing to change schedules, leave early, pick up sick kids, et cetera. We are short-staffed and burned out from COVID. It is becoming hard to make these accommodations while others are feeling like they are constantly picking up the slack. My staff is almost all working moms between ages 20 and 30 and as a working mom myself, I understand the challenges of childcare and unexpected events that come up and I want to support the moms in our workplace. However, I am walking a tight rope between keeping people happy and maintaining company priorities. Do you have any advice for helping me navigate the struggles of flexibility?” Great question, Haliel. Thank you so much for submitting it very timely in terms of what I think a lot of people are going through right now. Alyssa, where do you want to start?

Alyssa:
So, again, kudos. Thank you for sending the question in. I want to respectfully point out some assumptions and judgment that I picked up on in the, in the email. And it could be completely accurate, let me just say that, that people are “taking advantage of” your flexibility. But as you also pointed out, the cast of characters, if you will, the staff, right, are almost all in this same position, working moms in this age group. Um, and so I think that we want to maybe take a step back. And even though through the burnout, through the stress, assume good intent. That people are not there to try to take advantage of you. They are just doing the best they can and trying to balance all of those other things, childcare, all of that stuff. Right? And so, this balance that we speak of that you keenly pointed out is keeping people happy and maintaining company priorities. That’s where I feel like there’s opportunity to actually put forth some action. Because right now you’re in the trenches, you’re trying to, you know, cover the schedule and be, you know, I’m sure, making sure all the patients get seen and all of the things, right? Let’s talk about where it goes from here. Take it up a level. Maybe two. The company priorities – What are those? Because if you feel like you have to sacrifice people’s happiness in order to meet the company priorities, then that’s not a balance that you think you can actually accomplish. Your commitment to that is going to distinctly and irrevocably be uncommitted to one of those things. Meaning it’s going to split you apart as I’m sure you’re experiencing right now, but you’re just thinking about it in these two aspects. Would the real issue for me, whenever I see this kind of thing, is this that you can’t authentically continue to tow that company line because the company’s priorities have to shift and change in order to serve patients and serve your employees. It doesn’t need to be an either/or. We need to make our work and focus it on making it together. Any of that resonate with you? I probably went off on a completely different pathway than what you took it as. But that’s the beauty of us.

Joe:
Well, no, but I think you’re describing the ideal though, right? That’s the ideal…

Alyssa:
Absolutely. Absolutely!

Joe:
…Is that we grant people the flexibility they need to attend to all the things that can happen and that pop up and that the organization is still able to operate effectively.

Alyssa:
Yeah.

Joe:
Absolutely. That is the ideal. And if there are times, like you said, when it feels like we have to choose between one or the other…what do we need to do as an organization to minimize that from happening? I am completely with you on that. If we assume for a minute that that is the struggle and that is what… what she is endeavoring to do but that it is also human nature at times to, at an even unconscious level, push the boundaries of what is allowed. So let me say this first, I love that your organization is so supportive and is so and that you as a leader are so tuned in to how important flexibility is. Obviously through your own experience as a working mom, but the fact that you are trying to create and provide that for your team is so important right now. It is, I would argue, it is the most important thing that employees need from their workplaces. So truly you are doing the right things. But if you are seeing some behaviors or some kind of creep of that flexibility that is starting to do some harm, how do we, how do we nip that in the bud? Or how do we kind of re-calibrate what an appropriate amount of flexibility is? And so, a couple of thoughts. The first thing I would ask you is at an individual level; is it use or abuse? And so, are people just using the current circumstances and flexibility that you provide as they understand it to be okay, or do you have some folks that are overusing it? And, and I would specifically encourage you to tune in to a lack of empathy. And what I mean by that is sometimes when people have to call off because they’ve got something going on or they need to leave early they feel terrible about it. They know that that leaves everybody else to pick up the slack. And if you have to do it a couple of times in a row, the folks who are coming back to you, I’m so sorry. I really, this is not normal. I’m really sorry about this. That’s typically not abuse. That’s circumstance, right? But when you have those folks maybe who are less effusive or demonstrative about their regret when it comes to having to ask for these kinds of accommodations, then we might have a situation where that person isn’t being as thoughtful about where they could get help elsewhere, or be less advant…, take less advantage of the system. And so, I would, I would think of it through the lens of the individual level. So that’s my first piece of advice. The second piece of advice is that this is a problem you should not try to solve alone. This is a problem that you should invite the group to solve with you collectively. And you do that by pulling them together and having the exact same conversation with them that you just had with us in this email where you say, listen, I know how important flexibility is. You guys know that I do. I’m a mom, too. I want to offer that to you as much as possible. I want to preserve it for us as much as possible, but we’re starting to rub up against the boundaries of what is reasonable. And some things are not working. So, we need to put our heads together and figure out how do we fix this? And you’ll have to have some specific examples. Not calling people out, but some specific examples of, you know, on this day we had three people call off and, on this day, we had four people call off, and here’s what happened as a result. How do we prevent that from happening again, while still allowing for the kinds of flexibility and accommodations that you need from your employer? Let’s throw any ideas at the wall and see what sticks, and then let’s watch, you know, let’s watch what kind of dialogue unfolds across that group because you have transferred some of the responsibility to them for preserving their flexibility and solving this problem.

Alyssa:
I love that. That you’re talking about making it a group activity, right? Because the sense of commitment has to be to the group, right?

Joe:
Yeah.

Alyssa:
Not just to the company’s priorities.

Joe:
Right.

Alyssa:
The commitment comes from the group to each other, right?

Joe:
Pain is felt on the team. So, it needs to be addressed on the team. Yeah.

Alyssa:
Yes. Yes. When you’re talking about, you know, this is what happens and it’s bumping up against reasonable boundaries. Again, there’s some subjectiveness that maybe could go into each person’s definition of what ‘reasonable’ is. Here’s where I would say, get down to the…let them play manager for the day. Here’s what you have to accomplish. This is how many patients have to be seen, right? So, are you going to name exactly what those boundaries are? Be hardcore. This is how many patients have to be seen. This is what the provider’s needs are. What are the metrics by which you have to function as an office? What makes it go? Right? Everything else is on the table. So, reason could take just a hold for a second. Okay? And ask them to, to identify what their ideal workday actually looks like in terms of workflow, dismissal time, times of day, the whole thing. Just let them dream so that they can feel part of that dream. And part of the process of solving this problem and be committed to helping you solve it rather than being part of the problem of what this amount of flexibility is costing the organization. Because we know, we know that this flexibility and the ability to have people in the right jobs and functioning at a level that is balanced for them is the only way you are going to continue to have staff. So, you have to focus that energy and make it real concentrated in trying to assume good intent. Right? And then allowing that good intent to flourish through helping them commit to what it is that needs to be accomplished. And, but let them have a say in how.

Joe:
Yes. And asking the group does that, right? The idea-generating is collective. So, you end up with some new ideas maybe that you wouldn’t even have thought of as the leaders.

Alyssa:
Exactly.

Joe:
If people all point to the idea as something worth trying, then you get a greater level of buy-in. And let’s be honest about the other thing that happens when you discuss this as a group, you might reign in some of the behavior a bit more where people start being a bit more careful. Right? If before it was like, ‘well, I gotta run out early to pick up my kid’ now it’s ‘oh yeah, this is…okay. I’ll call my mother-in-law, you know, and see if she can get her’ where maybe I wouldn’t have taken that step before and exhausted every option. If the culture is such a way where, hey, I got to leave early, pick up my kid, like people were allowed to do that here. But by having this collective conversation, you may be able to use the peer group to push people to be more careful. Right? And then here’s the other aspect of this. It’s also possible that we have a whole collective group of people who are taking advantage of it. Right? Let’s go the other way. And so, it is not out of bounds to suggest that there might come a time when a boss or an organization needs to create stricter criteria around these kinds of things. And so, one of the things that I would encourage you to do, and I would encourage you to do this as a group as well. See if this could be an idea that is born out of the group, but, but maybe you create a kind of circumstance where everybody gets three NQAs – No Questions Asked, right? Some kind of thing that, you know, if I gotta leave early or come in late or whatever, and that happens three times, Hey, that’s life. It happens. We want to give you that kind of flexibility. That’s how we operate here. NQAs – no questions asked. But what I need you to know as the leader is that the fourth time, I’m going to start asking questions. We’re going to sit down and kind of talk about, hey, you know, what’s going on with you and is this working and how can we support you? And how do we cut down on this from happening?

Alyssa:
Love that.

Joe:
Be very, very careful about how you set that up, because then it, for some people on some teams that becomes, I’ve got three credits that I need to use, like three call-offs I need to use.

Alyssa:
Use it or lose it.

Joe:
That’s not what this is. Right. No, no, no. That means if you tell me that you got to go, I’m not going to ask you any questions up to three times. And after that though, we’ve got a pattern that we would need to address.

Alyssa:
I like that idea a lot too. Yeah. Again, I think it’s about the context and the communication. And doing that in a group places the power with that commitment in the group. And so that’s excellent. Excellent.

Joe:
And we’ve pointed to flexibility often already on the show as one of these factors that is so critical to finding and keeping devoted employees. So, it’s going to be something we continue to talk about. This problem that Haliel has brought to us is one that will continue to show itself in various iterations of this situation that she just described. So, I imagine we will be talking about this again, but for those of you who are listening, we would love to hear from you. Both your reactions to what you heard us offer as advice as well as your questions and ideas for future episodes. So, if you want to reach out, you can email the show bossbetternow@gmail.com. If you’re watching this episode online, just drop a comment below the video.

Joe:
That brings us to the Camaraderie Question of the Week. Bosses build camaraderie on teams, by making it easier for people to find things in common with each other. That’s why every week we give you a question you can take to meetings, or one-on-ones, or zoom chats to facilitate connection and build camaraderie. And our question this week – we’re dreaming big, Alyssa. We’re asking the question that we all get asked sometimes when we’re sitting around the campfire or taking a long drive somewhere. And that question is this: If you won the lottery, what big extravagance would you buy? And now, there’s a qualifier here. Okay?

Alyssa:
Okay.

Joe:
I don’t want anybody to tell me that you’d solve world hunger. You know, you pay off your house and you’d take care of your family. Because, of course, yes, that’s what we would do if we won the lottery. And I think most people would give that kind of altruistic, responsible answer. I’m here for it. Let’s go to the next thing on the list. You’ve done all of that, but now you’re going to do something for you. What toy or extravagance or thing are you doing? Just because it’s like, oh, a dream. It’s opulent. It’s like, ah, I want that.

Alyssa:
Uh, how bad is it that I did not even once think about like, you know, the world peace thing? I, I don’t know what that says about me.

Joe:
Uh, well, the question asked for an extravagance. So, the question asks for an extravagance. So…

Alyssa:
I went right for the things.

Joe:
Yeah.

Alyssa:
Now here, I will qualify…maybe this teeters the border of what you’re saying though then. Because mine is not for me. Because for me, I don’t know, I don’t have a passion. I don’t have like, I mean, yeah, I’m passionate about like coaching and serving other people and all of the rest of that stuff.

Joe:
Sure.

Alyssa:
But like, I can’t buy that. So…but for me, I live my happiness through making other people happy. And so, if I could have a blank check, first thing I would do, my husband would have every car he ever wanted. He would have every guitar he ever dreamed about. Because he has these passions. He has these hobbies. And to help him realize those and live and see the joy and feel the happiness through him…there would be nothing in life that could top me witnessing that. Just nothing. So, I got you, babe! When we win the lottery, when we…I’m manifesting it through this question…I’m going to get you every car you want. I’m going to get you every guitar you want. And I say that because I know he’s listening at some point.

Joe:
Right.

Alyssa:
But that’s, those are my wishes.

Joe:
That is super sweet! That is so amazing! I wanted something more selfish. I mean, way to show the rest of the world, what a really generous person you are. But I feel like after you do all that for the hubs and you’re buying the…

Alyssa:
A piece of property.

Joe:
Front row seat to the Glennon Doyle extravaganza, like the VIP…

Alyssa:
Oh! Oh, God! Oh!

Joe:
Right?

Alyssa:
If I…if Glennon Doyle could be bought on retainer, her, and Abby Wambach. But I would, I would love to just be at a dinner party, of course, with a time beginning and end, Glennon. I get it. But I would love to sit in a room, just be in the presence. Um, but outside of that, I would buy a piece of property with mountains…

Joe:
There it is.

Alyssa:
And forest and water and wide-open spaces. And I don’t have to see people. Ever. If I don’t want to.

Joe:
And no people! I knew it! I love it! Fantastic! There it is!

Alyssa:
An introvert’s dream. All right. You have now just won a blank check, Joe. What is it that you…?

Joe:
It’s a Corvette.

Alyssa:
Just that one thing?

Joe:
It’s a Corvette. Yeah. Like, yes, would it be cool to have a vacation home somewhere? Like if I ever, like, achieved that level of wealth? Yes. Cool. That would be amazing. Someplace warm. Someplace with access to the beach, but also like private and not a lot of people around. Cause, yeah, I’m sharing that introvert fever dream with you there. But in terms of just like a straight-up toy, that would be fun to have a like early seventies Sting Ray T-top Corvette.

Alyssa:
Okay. There’s the specs. Okay. Yeah.

Joe:
Yes. And, and if I couldn’t have that, then I would go for a newer model. And like, I actually have kind of on my bucket list that maybe someday…this is the criteria I set up for myself. Whenever I pay off our house, if our financial circumstances were such that it would not be irresponsible, I would look into, would it be possible for me to have a Corvette. Now that’s a long way off. And a lot of other things have to go, right. But it’s on my radar as a, maybe a dream for someday. And so, my answer is Corvette.

Alyssa:
Okay. I love it. I love it.

Joe:
I’ll be driving it back and forth to the airport. And then worrying about like, you’re leaving the Corvette the airport parking lot for three days, five days on your trip. That’s not a good idea.

Alyssa:
No, no.

Joe:
And that is the Camaraderie Question of the Week.

Joe:
All right, friends, remember you can get original videos, encouraging messages from me, subscriber-only access to our training and events, breaking news, and more by signing up for my twice-monthly Boss Better Now emails. They are free and, by the way, we never sell your information. This is just another way that we try to achieve our mission of filling the workplace with better bosses. To sign up, just visit BossBetterNow.com.

Joe:
And now that brings us Alyssa to the final segment of today’s show where we have, for our listeners, a BossScript. This is a script that I came up with a few years ago as a way to signal caring and intent when you have to share something that might be tough to hear. And I like this phrase because it’s a kind of quick get ready. Like it’s a quick, something is coming that you might need to steel yourself for, but at the same time, it signals to the person that you’re trying to deliver this with compassion. And so, the turn of phrase is “I care about you enough to tell you the truth.”

Alyssa:
Hmmm.

Joe:
If we have to sit across from somebody and share feedback that is challenging, opening up with this is a really powerful way to set the tone for the kind of conversation that you want to have. And actually, this script can be paired with another one of my favorites. So, we’re doing two for one special today. And the other one is this. I need to share something with you that is going to be hard for me to say, and probably hard for you to hear, but I care about you enough to tell you the truth. So, I think when you pair those together you really set up a signal of caring intent while also giving this person a moment to get ready. That alone is an act of empathy.

Alyssa:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

Joe:
So, let’s imagine for a minute that I need to give someone some feedback about a body odor issue or a hygiene issue, or a professional dress issue. Pulling that person into your office and saying, hey, listen, I need to talk with you about something. And I’ll be honest, I got to tell you something that’s hard for me to say, and it’s probably going to be hard for you to hear. But I care enough about you to tell you the truth. And then you move into the feedback. You describe the behavior or the issue that’s taking place.

Alyssa:
Yeah.

Joe:
I think you’ve created a tone and an opportunity to have a caring and honest conversation that, despite being uncomfortable for everybody involved, becomes easier for everyone involved because we’re all working off of the same page and there’s, there’s caring involved. You use a script like this or anything like this when you…as you’ve given feedback or led people?

Alyssa:
I hope that people would have felt that. I don’t know if I’ve used those words. I think it’s a very powerful wording to use. I think there’s a certain amount of grace and power that we can achieve whenever we are honest about our own feelings and our own emotions to whomever we’re having that conversation with. By saying, this is really hard for me to say, or this is really uncomfortable for me to say, naming whatever the heck it is that you’re feeling allows room for them to do the same. To feel and to, and that you are making that allowance for them. I think there’s also that part of this, like assuring to that person that you are not some kind of, you know, hateful person that just wants to tell them how it is, and this is the way it’s got to be, and you have to address this, and do as I say makes you human and we all need more human.

Joe:
Right. And let’s be clear though, about how important it is to not make the conversation about you. Like right at the beginning, you can say,

Alyssa:
Oh sure! Yeah.

Joe:
You know this is hard for me to say, and it’s probably going to be hard for you to hear. And then we don’t talk about ourselves anymore after that. I’ve seen too many supervisors who actually get honked off that they have to have the uncomfortable conversation, right? And they’re like, do you know how hard this is for me? This is really uncomfortable. I’ve been thinking about this for a week. I haven’t slept. And this is like, I’ve been really nervous about this conversation. No. That’s a problem. Like you need to…

Alyssa:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe:
If that’s where you’re at with it, no problem. Let’s, let’s put that in the like compartmentalized leadership bucket that lives within us of the stuff that we just have to stew over on our own and live with on our own. But when we sit down with that person, it is all about them. And how can I share my feedback with them in a way that makes them feel cared for and supported in this moment? Because they’re about to experience something icky. And I like this phrase of, I care about you enough to tell you the truth, especially when we have to give feedback up or over. Right? Lateral feedback. So, if you have to give feedback to a colleague, right, about something that you’ve noticed or that’s happening. And I had a colleague once that I was in an association with, who was really disruptive at meetings. And this had been an ongoing problem for a long, long time. And then when I got into a leadership role, the other people on the team were like, you do all the feedback training, right? Okay. You got to talk to her about this. And so, I had to sit down with this person, and I said to her, listen, I got to talk with you about something that that’s hard for me to tell you, and it’s going to be hard for you to hear, but we’ve known each other a long time. And I care about you enough to tell you the truth so here goes. And she was a meeting bully, and she was really disrupted in meetings. And I had to talk with her about that behavior in a way that was difficult. And despite being someone who teaches this stuff, that conversation went about as well as you thought it would be. She went through all five of the stages of the grief and the anger and the rejection and the blaming. And I’m maybe making some of those up because I’m not a psychologist, but you understand what I’m saying. But at least I gave her grace and space at the beginning to know something was coming before being slapped by this.

Alyssa:
I think that there’s also, so you got to say it and then mean it. Meaning…

Joe:
Yes!

Alyssa:
You’re creating this space. Then you got to sit there and hold it as that person goes through all of those things, whatever phases they might get to. Right? That’s your job. You got to hold it.

Joe:
I am so glad you said that because that is exactly the thought that I was having in the moment because we were having this uncomfortable conversation. And when you’re in it, you think to yourself, okay, I got it out now, how do I get out of here as quickly as well, because this is not fun.

Alyssa:
The hard part’s over? No no no no. It’s not.

Joe:
Right. No. And I remember having the very conscious thought of, I need to sit in the discomfort of this with her for however long it takes. And it was 45 minutes. It was a long, uncomfortable conversation of me just, to continue to try to be even-keeled and restate what I had said. A lot of times, those, those kinds of moments are just restating what you’ve said, clarifying things, and circling back to the big ideas. Which is, I care about you and I’m here to support you in any way that I can, but this is what’s happening. And this is what has to change because it’s having this kind of an impact and you know, how, how can we fix it together?

Alyssa:
Yeah. And holding the space. I’m here to hold the space with you. So, let’s work through this.

Joe:
Yeah. And there’s, you know, there’s another idea that kind of lives underneath this, which is, you know, when you say to somebody, I care about you enough to tell you the truth. I think you can also give voice to the notion that and again, you have to mean this, If I was in this situation, I would want somebody to care enough about me to tell me the truth. Right? So, if I am, you know, I, I’m the president and CEO of my own company. I have a couple of people who work for me. And if I’m showing up in a way that’s causing a problem, I would want somebody on the team, and this is hard, this takes a lot of courage, to care about me enough to tell me the truth. To say, Hey Joe, do you know that when you leave the room, people are like, oh, it’s a Dr. Crabby day because you’re taking your stress and strain out on everybody else. And it’s causing a problem here and it’s not fair to them. And so, I need you to know that. That’s hard to do. By the way, I don’t think anyone’s ever called me Dr. Crabby at the office. I tend to be pretty good-natured most days. Um, but just as an example, right? Sometimes we need to give that feedback up and we might need to say to that person, I care about you enough to tell you the truth. And I know that if I was in the same, this situation, and this was being said about me or I was having this effect, I would hope that somebody would come to me and tell me. And so that is the context under which I am trying to bring this to you. And that is our BossScript. I care about you enough to tell you the truth.

Joe:
Well, that’s our show, BossHeroes. If you like what we’re doing here, would you tell others about it? We’d really appreciate you sharing the podcast with people in your orbit. Consider sending a link to your management team so they can check out the show or maybe post a link and some nice words about us on your LinkedIn or Facebook status. If you don’t have nice words to say about us, well, then you just close that browser window right now. Thank you very much. By the way, we even make this easy for you to share our podcast. Just point people toward the podcast website, which is BossBetterNowpodcast.com. In the meantime, thank you for listening, BossHeroes. And thank you for all that you do to take care of so many.

Alyssa:
This show is sponsored by Joe Mull and Associates. Remember, commitment comes from better bosses. Visit JoeMull.com today.

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