21. Recognition that Works + Boss Wisdom from Kids

Episode 21: Recognition that Works + Boss Wisdom from Kids (Summary)

There’s only ONE kind of employee recognition that truly works. I’ll tell you what it is, plus, proof that even children understand the qualities that make for a great boss. It’s all next, on Boss Better Now.

Links:
To learn more about Joe Mull, visit his website ​Joemull.com​.
To hear more from Joe Mull visit his YouTube channel​.
To learn how to invite Joe to speak at an event, visit ​Joemull.com/speaking​.
To check date availability or to get a quote for an event, email ​hello@joemull.com​.
To explore options for coaching from Alyssa Mullet, visit ​Joemull.com/coaching​.
For more information on the BossBetter Leadership Academy, visit Joemull.com/academy.
Email the show at bossbetternow@gmail.com.
To leave comments, ask questions, or to message us visit our Boss Better Now Podcast Facebook Page.
Connect with Joe on Instagram.
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*Full transcript under the comments below.

 

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Transcript – Episode 21: Recognition that Works + Boss Wisdom from Kids

Joe:
There’s only one kind of employee recognition that truly works. I’ll tell you what it is. Plus, proof that even children understand the qualities that make for a great boss. It’s all next on Boss Better Now.

Alyssa:
You’re listening to Boss Better Now. Please welcome speaker, author, and Hamilton superfan, Joe Mull.

Joe:
Greetings BossHeroes, and welcome to the show that “tells your story”. I know that for the past year, “the world’s been turned upside down.” I’m sure it was a blur, sir. And then, at times, you were just trying to “stay alive”. But “look around, look around, at how lucky we are to be alive right now.” After a year, we are finally starting to “rise up” and here on our podcast, you are in “the room where it happens.” This is the place where we make sure you are “not throwing away your shot” to help people thrive at work. We’re “passionately smashing every expectation. Every action on our show is an act of creation” as we work to fill workplaces with better bosses. “And if you don’t know now, you know.” And by the way, if you’re “looking for a mind at work”, please welcome my co-host. She is “inimitable”. She is “an original”. Professional and executive coach, Alyssa Mullet.

Alyssa:
Wow. I’ll just…I’ll just bow down to… I am not, I am not a nincompoop. I know who Hamilton is. Uh, I, I have some understanding of some history. I have not, though, seen the theater, uh, Hamilton. So, am I supposed to take from this greatness that was your intro, that there are many a reference in there?

Joe:
Yes, yes. Uh, my advice to you friend, you have, you have mentioned that you are a Spotify listener – just grab the soundtrack, uh, put it in your ear one morning and give it a listen. Uh, it’s gonna change your life. It’s it’s really a masterpiece for a lot of ways. And I don’t want to take over our podcast episode today by talking about all the reasons that that statement is true. Um, but for those who are listening and who have some familiarity with the show, uh, which is almost everybody not named Alyssa, then you will, I hope have found that opening kind of fun and shout out to Jamie who, uh, on our team, who was giggling with joy throughout…I am certain because she is, uh, you know, equally as big a fan as I,

Alyssa:
I have to tell you, she’s the only reason why I knew that you might be talking about Hamilton whenever you were speaking. So another shout out to Jamie.

Joe:
She kind of gave you a heads-up prep, warning kind of thing. That it might be coming at some point.

Alyssa:
Well, not, not that Oh, because, uh, shooting your shot or not missing your shot. Whatever that line is….

Joe:
Not throwing away your shot. Yes.

Alyssa:
Not throwing away your shot. That is something that stands out to me about Jamie and her way of operating in the world. And I know she has used that as a frame of reference in conversation and so, ah, that’s how I knew. I was like, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Joe:
Well, if, if you have access to Disney+ knowing what a big Disney fan you are, I’m sure that you do, uh, you can go on Disney+ and you can watch the show and you can watch the original cast, the Tony award winning cast of the show. Um, it’s, it is a work of art. And so, check it out. You will leave feeling inspired and uplifted. Uh, I feel pretty confident about that statement.

Alyssa:
Okay. All right. I, I actually might give that a shot. I might give that a shot.

Joe:
I see what you did there. Giv…Don’t throw away your shot. Give it a shot that well-played sir. Yes. Well done. Well, we want to talk today a little bit about recognition that works and here’s where I want to start with this, Alyssa. My sister told me recently that my love language is gift giving and here I thought I was a Pisces and I mean, I don’t really know anything about…

Alyssa:
Now see, that’s where like I you’re getting, you’re not a superfan of all the self-help stuff and all of the, that kind of jazz. And I’m like, you’re speaking all of the languages that I understand. I understand the horoscope. I understand that. I completely agree with your sister.

Joe:
Okay, well we’ll you can read my chakras later, but for now I will tell you why I’m bringing up this conversation with my sister. Um, because I think some of the idea of what she was trying to say is true. I do enjoy giving gifts. Uh, and actually if we want to get specific, what I really enjoy is something that we in my family have come to call “the big reveal”. Now the big reveal is when you put forth planning or effort for someone that you keep a secret and then boom, you unveil it as a surprise. And the people in my life tell me that, that’s the thing that I like to do a lot. And, and that’s true. Right. Have you ever done anything like that where you’ve done, like some secret planning to surprise someone, uh, that took a little bit of time and effort, and then, you know, that moment when you yank the cover off and you say, “ta da”, like that’s the best part, right?

Alyssa:
Yeah, I guess. It’s not my love language, nor is it, luckily, anyone near me’s love language. So, I guess I really haven’t had that kind of experience, honestly.

Joe:
Okay. No worries. Well, I’m going to give you a few examples of, of, of some of some things that, that I have done, uh, that, that we might call “the big reveal.” So, uh, for example, last year we updated my ten-year-old daughter’s bedroom in a day. So, she was at school. We cleaned it from top to bottom, which was horrifying. We gave it a facelift, we added some new furniture and when she got home, we took her up to the room and we opened the door, and we made a fun video of her opening the door for the first time and freaking out at the transformation. Like that’s “the big reveal.”

Alyssa:
Oh, Oh, I love that. Okay. Okay.

Joe:
And another time my wife and I helped my in-laws update their basement bathroom. We’re kind of handy with some of that stuff. And they asked for some help. And so, when we started, we basically said, um, we’re going to do everything and you’re not allowed on this floor of your house until we’re done, because we wanted to do our own little like HGTV style, “big reveal.” Uh, another example of this. But before the pandemic, I did a keynote for a company in New York City, one of my favorite places to visit. And I decided to take my sister with me on the trip. And at the last minute I used some of my air Miles to surprise her with upgraded seats to first class, which I didn’t tell her about until we were getting on the plane. Right. So that’s kind of a “big reveal.” And I do like that.

Joe:
I think it’s a way to kind of create for someone up a moment of joy that, and because there aren’t a lot of times in our lives when we get genuine excitement or happiness, that just kind of lands. And so, I suppose I do use “the big reveal” as a way to show my love and appreciation for others. So maybe, maybe that is my love language. Now, now that I’ve given you that context and those examples, uh, have you ever been on the receiving end of one of those or have you ever done something like that?

Alyssa:
Uh, I know, you know, what’s coming to mind is I feel like I am the polar opposite once again. Um, so I recently did something for a family member. Um, and I, after I had done it, I mentioned I, I called them up and I was like, you know, we were discussing other things. And I, I said, okay, so I did something, I don’t know. I just wanted to tell you I did it so that you can feel, however you want to feel about it now. And like, you know, not react later in the moment and whatever, you know, when you’re in public. And so, I said, what I did and well, s…, You know, they were obviously very appreciative of what I had done and, you know, they were thanking me, but then they were like, can you allow me to, to, to feel and to be grateful and like, cause I didn’t, I didn’t, I didn’t want them to put all of that emotion on me, I guess. I was shying away from it. So, it was the exact opposite of what I was comfortable with if that makes sense.

Joe:
You didn’t want the, maybe the attention that comes with being a giver of a big reveal.

Alyssa:
Yeah. Maybe. I don’t know. It just made me feel like, ugh…icky…I don’t know. It’s definitely not my love language.

Joe:
Okay. Well, fair enough. But I would bet that there are some things that folks have done for you in the past that required them to part with time and effort that were really meaningful for you. Um, when I speak at conferences, I will sometimes ask the audience, what’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you when, when talking about recognition. Because I bet in the story of any person’s answer is someone parting with time and effort. And I think that’s the key ingredient to recognition that works because parting with time and effort requires intentionality. Uh, it’s not convenient to do so. And when we do things that are a little inconvenient to express our appreciation for others, that sticks.

Joe:
So, a few years ago, Nintendo came out with a mini version of their original eight-bit video game player. Uh, that’s what I grew up playing. I’m a child of the 80’s. So, we had, you know, Mario and Duck Hunt and the Original Legend of Zelda and Tetris and Rad Racer. And a certain portion of our listenership is feeling me right now. So, a couple of years ago, Nintendo came out with a little box, a mini version that had 30 of these old school games on it. And it came with two controllers and it was the exact thing I grew up playing as a kid. And, uh, it was like $50. It wasn’t outrageously priced. And so that year I told my wife, I want that. I want that for Christmas. If anyone is like looking for an idea for me, tell them about that. Well, I don’t know if you remember this or anything like that, but when the holidays came around, they were nearly impossible to get. Uh, and I even remember talking to my wife about that, like, oh gosh, yeah, they’re really hard to get.

Joe:
They, they had a certain run of them. They sold out. They’re they’re really hard to get. So, I lowered my expectations that there was really any chance I was going to get. I did. Yeah. Um, because I don’t want anybody to feel any pressure like Joe’s Christmas is going to be ruined if he doesn’t get this Nintendo thing. Cause I’m, you know, that’s not what I’m about. And I was like, of course, you know, I’ll get one, eventually. That Is what I said. Well, of course on Christmas day after we opened gifts as a family, that year we went to my in-law’s house and they handed me a box and inside I found my mini-Nintendo system. And as soon as I opened it, I said, Whoa, how did you get one? And they were really hesitant to tell me the story at first. Maybe they maybe they’re like you where they didn’t, they didn’t want what they knew was going to come.

Joe:
But what found out was that they had been calling Best Buys all over the region up until the week before Christmas to find out when shipments were coming in. And when they got word of a shipment, they camped out in front of the store all night to be first in line. And the night that they camped out, I’m … this is all a true story, turned out to be the coldest night of the year with windchill in the negative numbers. And they took turns, sleeping in their car to get me that gift. Like I’m, I feel myself getting choked up right now, just talking about it. Because, when I found that out, I was speechless and I mean, I’m a speaker that doesn’t happen very often. It sounds dumb to say, but it really is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. And it’s not because I got a Nintendo. It’s because — look at the inconvenience, look at the trouble, the effort and the time that someone spent to do something for me.

Joe:
And so, when we talk about recognition and I promise listeners, we’re, we’re getting there. When we talk about recognition, the first thing to understand is that it is not the gifts that make people feel appreciated. It’s the spending of your time and effort in some way to celebrate them, that sticks. I get asked a lot as someone with expertise in employee engagement and developing better bosses. I get asked a lot about employee recognition programs. Should we have them? Should we not? Should they be formal? Should it be informal, should they be, be supervisor driven or peer driven? Like what type of program is the most effective? And my answer is… The one that works. The one that visibly obviously makes people feel appreciated. So, when it comes to employee recognition, it’s not about the gift. It’s about the sentiment, giving someone a gift card is nice, but it’s the note.

Joe:
That is the difference maker. If you give someone a gift card with a generic sentence or two in it that says, Hey, thanks for all your effort. I mean, that’s nice. But what if that note had a paragraph describing their unique contributions to things that you notice that they bring to the table? When that note makes it obvious that my boss stopped what they were doing and took time to sit and think and write not in a way that can be finished in seconds, but in a way that required some time and effort and thought and intentionality suddenly, I matter. And that sticks.

Alyssa:
Wow. You know, I only wear makeup when I’m on YouTube with you, Joe. And now, like I feel the mascara, like creeping down my eyeballs. As soon as you talked about the sacrifice that they made the time and the effort that went into obtaining that gift. That’s when I was like, okay, that I identify with. That sense of self-sacrifice serving in a way that is greater than just this thing. Right? That is the most meaningful thing that I can think of. I can think back over my career and I have gotten plenty of beautiful gifts, uh, from clients, from, uh, prior colleagues, things of that nature. Um, but certainly the ones that stand out to me are the words, um, that accompanied those, if there was a thing attached to it, right. Um, time and effort of someone planning something for you. I think what I, um, try to translate this to, in the coaching realm when I’m with clients who are trying to lead more authentically, right… Is understanding for themselves how they experience support or recognition. Right? And then being able to see in themselves, what may be preventing them from asking that same question or acting in that way, uh, for themselves or for others. Right. Um, but yeah, time and effort, that’s a real ask. Uh, that is not something that can be bought with a gift card, no matter the amount of denomination.

Joe:
And we can part with time and effort that doesn’t require a lot of time and effort. You don’t need to camp out overnight at a Best Buy in order for people to feel special. Um, how long does it take to make the post-it note you leave on someone’s desk four sentences instead of one. I mean, it might be the difference between one minute and 10. I, it might take you 10 minutes to sit down and say, okay, let me think about the last 30 days. And what are the things I’ve noticed that this person does really well? And what is some language I can use that really jumps off the page and sizzles and makes this person feel noticed? That for some folks that requires a quiet room and some real intentionality behind it, and then once they get their ideas to construct it into a three or four sentence note that you stick in a card or on a post-it or something like that. Okay. 10 minutes. 10 minutes of effort. It’s a lot easier than sleeping out of a car, sleeping out in front of a Best Buy and trying to stay warm in your car. But it has the same effect. And you read a note like that and you know that this person paused what they were doing to communicate something because they wanted you to feel like you matter.

Alyssa:
Yeah. It’s interesting. I, I know that there’s been so many good examples of that in my life that I have experienced, you know, cause now, now I do have all the feels and now I, you know, can, you know, touch that with my, my brain and my memory. But the, I, again, I suffer from recency. I’ve said this thousands of times already on the podcast. Most recently something actually happened to my husband. He was, um, a collaborator on, um, a project and the outcome of, of his work led to someone else’s success in their field. Right. And that individual brought my husband, I think it’s a cup or some sort, I’m not even sure of the exact, what it is as a vessel, but it was engraved with this. It was Italian. Okay. Italian language. Right. And so, my husband started, he didn’t know what it was.

Alyssa:
It just came with a brief little post that said something like, thank you so much, you know? Uh, uh, another little like inside joke. So, my husband like started Googling like typing in the words, and it was the words of an Italian opera that was so beautifully composed. And it linked directly to this YouTube video that had these amazing inspirational images and just was the most heartfelt thing. My husband was like, can you imagine? And I also have to say this was from a fellow scientist. And when you think about the emotional intelligence or at least the outwardly social, emotional intelligence that most in that field have, it is, this is like a scale of a thousand. It was just shown meaningful. So, I hope that we can all be at some point in our leadership, that kind of person to recognize somebody and make them feel that way.

Joe:
That, that story gave me goosebumps. Uh, and I also found myself really excited that when he translated the mug, it did not say, uh, “my career took off because of your work. And all I got was this lousy mug.” I thought that maybe that’s where I thought we were going.

Alyssa:
No, it was so beautiful. It was so beautiful.

Joe:
That’s phenomenal. And it’s funny, cause it just reminded me of, and this is so fitting tied to our, it’s funny how this all fits together. The other nicest thing anyone has ever done for me was, um, four years ago for a little over four years ago when I celebrated my 40th birthday, um, my wife threw me a kind of surprise party. I am very hard to surprise. My, my family will tell you, um, it’s very difficult. I, for a variety of reasons, but I knew there was a gathering, and I wasn’t allowed to know anything else. And so, we get to the gathering and it was a Hamilton themed birthday party. And I will spare you the details of all the amazing things that, that my wife and my family did to, to make it a Hamilton themed party. But there was cake and there were hats and there were notes and decorate.

Joe:
It was really cool. Uh, and I found out of course that day, all of my family, my in-laws, my parents, my sister, my wife, everybody had pitched in to buy us two tickets to see Hamilton in Chicago later that year. Um, and when I think about the party, it, I don’t remember getting the gift, but I remember feeling so touched at the effort everyone put into the whole like Hamilton themed party and that I had friends there, some of whom drove great distance, you know, and it just goes to show it it’s, I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’m glad we got the tickets, but it was the time and the effort that sticks, you know? And I think if, if there’s a takeaway here, it’s that if you want people to matter and you want them to, and you want to reap all the amazing benefits that come from that… The employee recognition programs that work are the ones that celebrate detailed, specific contributions that, that are driven by noticing and acknowledging. And then sometimes that just requires a tiny little bit of extra time and effort on the part of the boss.

Joe:
All right, folks. Well, we need you to suggest topics, problems or questions for Alyssa and I to tackle here on the show. So, we’re going to invite you please to send your suggestion of topics, problems, or questions you’d like us to discuss via email to bossbetternow@gmail.com. If we use your question in a show, we might send you some Boss Better Now swag. And remember, you can always leave comments under the episodes on our Boss Better Now Facebook page on the Boss Better YouTube channel and on bossbetternowpodcast.com.

Joe:
And that music Alyssa means that it is time for the Camaraderie Question of the Week. On every episode of this show, we give you, BossHero, a question you can take to team meetings, to huddles, to gatherings where your people are together, that will allow folks to find things in common with each other. When we learn things about the people that we work with, and more importantly, when we find things in common with each other, we access each other’s humanity. And when we do that, it reduces team drama, increases collaboration, and generally makes teams a little better functioning. Our Camaraderie Question of the Week, Alyssa, what is your favorite day of the year?

Alyssa:
Oh, it’s gotta be a day. A Day.

Joe:
It’s gotta be day.

Alyssa:
Good grief. Okay. Well, uh, yu…

Joe:
It was not a yuck. Was there a yuck?

Alyssa:
Yeah. Um, well I’m just going to say it like a random day in September or early October. There’s nothing monumental that happens in, in that period of time. My birthday’s in the winter and..la.la.la.la.la… You know, like, so I just am in love with the fall season and all the smells, the activities of fall harvest… I’m out in my garden. I’m getting cool stuff from there. I’ve worked really hard all summer to get from there. Um, so some random day in like September or October or I’m out in the sunshine, but cool enough to not sweat my rear-end off. And I’m getting some apples. I’m making some apple butter, maybe something like that.

Joe:
Like the first day of long sleeves.

Alyssa:
Yes. Yes. That’s a glorious day right there. Yeah.

Joe:
Yeah. That’s a good pick. Yeah. What else do you grow in your garden? So, you do do apples…. You have an apple tree?

Alyssa:
Well, so my neighbor has an Apple tree, right. Um, and they’re kind enough as long as, as long as I can them some Apple butter, I can pick all the apples I want. So that’s what I usually do. Um, and then the sky’s the limit. Um, I started my seeds cause we’re in April now. So, uh, I’ve started my seeds and this year I only have two types of tomatoes. I usually do three types of tomatoes. And then I have tomatillo plants because I like to can salsa as part of my, uh, fall routines. And then I do carrots and parsnips and I have asparagus in there. I do two different kinds of beans and hot peppers (Joe: Holy Cow! There’s a Farmer’s Market back there.) I do raised beds. My mother-in-law calls it the farm.

Joe:
Yes. I did not know this about you. You have like two green thumbs. I knew about the apple butter. You gifted us some of that a while back. And it was phenomenal. So, I knew about that part, but I didn’t know you had, you know, like a whole farm back there.

Alyssa:
Yeah, I do salsa too, so I can my own salsa and I try to have all of the things so I can make it like from only Mullet sourced goods…if you will.

Joe:
I love it. Great choice. Thank you for sharing that with us.

Alyssa:
Alright. So, what about you? You like the long sleeves, but is there a specific day that is like your favorite?

Joe:
Yeah, it’s funny. Usually when I come up with these questions, I almost instantly know my answer, but I had to think about this one a little bit. Um, and I think I’m going to go with the first Monday after the end of the school year. So, I love summer. So, you know, my kid’s school year and I know different people who live in different parts of the country are on different schedules. But here in Western Pennsylvania, my kids’ school year typically starts the last week of August and ends the first week of June give or take a couple of days on either end, depending if we had snow days or whatnot. Um, but usually like right around June 10th or so the school year ends. And that first, like I, the summer is an intoxicating thing to me, I’m a person who tries to squeeze as much awesomeness into summer as possible.

Joe:
I spend all year long thinking about summer. Are we going to swim? Are we going to go on a trip? Are we going to go on two trips? Are we going to go to Kennywood? Or are we going to go to Cedar Point? Are we going to go to the zoo? Like, and some of that comes from my hyper-awareness as a parent that I know I’ve got this very like small window of time to spend with the kids. Because in a couple of years, they’re not going to want to hang out with me. They’re going to have friends and jobs and cars. And so, there’s this window of time where I get to cram all of that in, I’m like, when can we rent the RV and drive to the Grand Canyon folks? Because that’s going to happen? I don’t know when, but it’s gonna, it’s going to happen someday.

Joe:
I see you laughing. (Alyssa: Wow. Okay.) So that first day, that first day of summer is just filled with so much promise. It feels like we’ve got this huge, like runway ahead of us. And we’re, uh, we’ve got all of this time to, to be together and be warm and be outside and do fun stuff together as a family. And then of course it always feels like it just goes lightning fast, you blink, and it’s like, oh my gosh, the kids go to school next week. And then that ends up being one of my sadder days of the year. It’s like, okay, another, another summer is gone. Another year has gone that we’re not going to get back. That the, the endless passage of time … boy, this really started positive and it’s not…but I love…

Joe:
I’m not gonna cry. I love the, the kind of the first day of summer as it relates to, you know, the kids’ school year ending. That’s my favorite day of the week.

Alyssa:
Well, that’s beautiful. And I have to tell our listeners, like I just witnessed Joe at like age nine. I mean, whenever you were talking about the first day of summer, like legit little Joey came out and I was just like, oh there he is. Look at him! He’s so cute! (Joe: Um, let’s go ride our bikes!) As a mom of someone that we have done a full remote school with — for the, for the past year. Um, I am going to go with the exact opposite of that for all the reasons you just listed. (Joe: I hear you. That is legit.) So again, we’re yin and yang here.

Joe:
But that’s why it works. And that folks is the Camaraderie Question of the Week.

Joe:
All right, Alyssa, we are going to finish the show today with a segment that is growing in popularity. It’s sweeping the globe. This is called Boss like a Mother

Joe:
So, I have something fun to share with you today. Um, during quarantine, when the schools closed, uh, and my kids were remote schooling for quite a while. There were a couple of days where I brought them to the office with me. I have office space. As you know, our listeners don’t know this. I have office space, a couple miles from my house. And my little office suite is in a section of the building that is otherwise empty. So, I was able to keep going to work and not encounter any other people, which was a beautiful thing in the midst of the pandemic. So, um, there were a number of days, I brought my kids to work and there was one day that they finished their schoolwork early and I was trying to keep them occupied. And I was also writing content for our blog, writing content for our emails, and whatnot. And on a whim. I said to Lily and Miles, who at the time were nine and seven. Let’s do a little experiment. Here’s a piece of paper. I want you to go make a list of what makes a good leader. And they came back probably like 13 minutes later… Not nearly enough time that I hoped. I hoped that that would be a thing for a little bit. Um, but what they brought me back is fantastic. And so, I’m going to share with you, my friend and with our BossHeroes, through the eyes of a child, the six things that make for a good leader. Are you ready?

Alyssa:
I am ready. I love this.

Joe:
Number one: Going with others plans. And I said, what do you mean by that? And I had a pen at the ready, cause I thought, Oh, th th there’s like a blog post waiting to happen here. And this was before the podcast even existed. I said, what do you mean by that? And here’s what they said. “You know, you can’t just say we’re going with my plan when someone has a good plan, if deep down, even if you’re jealous of it and you didn’t think of it, it’s important to say, Hey, that’s a really good plan. Let’s go with that.”

Joe:
Number two: Not yelling for anger.

Joe:
Number three: Be Kind.

Joe:
Number four: Never give up.

Joe:
Number five: Number five is my favorite. Help the wounded. I said, okay, tell me more about that. And my daughter said, well, if you’re in, I wrote this down word for word. “Well, if you’re in the army and someone hurts his ankle, you don’t just keep going. You got to sneak over and help him.”

Alyssa:
I want my mascara still on, by the end of the episode, Joe,

Joe:
And number six was teamwork. And now I get calls a lot from folks who say, Hey, we want to do some training or some development around teamwork. Can you help us with teamwork? And so, I asked Lily and Miles, the same question I asked people will call. I say, what do you mean by teamwork? And they said, “you don’t just do the plan by yourself. You got to involve everyone to decide the right thing.”

Joe:
That is a list of what makes a great leader. Going with others’ plans, not yelling for anger, being kind, never giving up, helping the wounded, and teamwork. I mean, should we just, should we should quit the show and turn it over to them, right?

Alyssa:
Yeah. I think that would be an amazing idea. One day we should do an episode with your… Maybe Henry could handle it too. I don’t know. He might bring it. You know, he wouldn’t yell for anger. He would just yell. Right.

Joe:
He would just, and it would be all like potty talk. Cause he’s the four-year-old boy age where like poop is a, is a noun, a verb, an adjective. And you’re like, don’t use that word. And then you’re like, then your standards change. And you’re like, don’t use that word at the dinner table. You know, yeah that would be Henry.

Alyssa:
You know, what’s so beautiful too is it’s so simplistic. But so deep. Right? All of those things. That was like thoughtful, emotional intelligence, like all the things. I have to tell you; I saw this just like what makes a good leader thing that you had asked your kids on the run sheet? I didn’t know any of the list. Right. But I saw it before I came into our recording today. And so, I stuck my head out the office door and I yelled down to my kid. Hey, what do you think makes a good leader? (Joe: Really?) Now I have to tell you, we had a good three-minute argument about why are you asking me, mama? I don’t have time for this. And like, you know, the seven-year-old that just needs to argue because it’s his only form of control in the entire universe.

Joe:
And you’re the only other person there for interaction.

Alyssa:
Only for him to say, “well, that’s easy, mama, kindness. Oh, that’s what you need to have as a leader.” I was like, dang a kid. Yes. Thank you. Okay, goodbye. Now

Joe:
That is beautiful. Take that kid to Disney World. I mean, come on,

Alyssa:
Torture his parents — take him to Disney. I’m going to leave that for his Uncle Collin to do.

Joe:
Okay. Fair enough. Uh, well I thought that you would enjoy that list. Uh, I, I think that everybody listening is the kind of leader who shows up and tries to do those things anyway. So let it be affirmation of the person we are aspiring to come. Even through the eyes of a child, they know what we all need, uh, from others in the world. And so that’s Boss Like a Mother.

Joe:
Well friends in a nod to our Hamilton themed opening, I’m going to leave you with this today. “Who tells your story?” For most bosses, their story is the conversation that takes place between employees. And usually you aren’t “in the room when it happens”. Remember “legacy is planting seeds in the garden you never get to see.” And I hope “you will never be satisfied.” “I know that you can win. I know that greatness lies in you but remember from here on in it’s your people who have their eyes on you. So don’t throw away your shot.” Thanks for listening. I have the honor to be your obedient servant, J.Mull. See you next time.

Alyssa:
This show is sponsored by Joe Mull and Associates. Remember commitment comes from better bosses. Visit joemull.com today.

Alyssa:
Are you planning a meeting, conference, retreat, or event? Why not invite our own Joe Mull to be your keynote speaker?

Joe:
(Live Keynote Clip) How many people here who supervise have had their time, attention and energy devoured by someone who is not committed? If yes, say yes … and an amen. See, like I said…

Alyssa:
Joe teaches leaders, how to boss better and cultivate commitment in a way that is funny, captivating and filled with takeaways.

Joe:
(Live Keynote Clip) Do you believe that these people are coming to me and telling me that I’m sticking my nose in where it doesn’t belong?

Audience Member:
(Live Keynote Clip) Oh my gosh. Wonderful. Really engaging and thought provoking, which is really great with lots of good tools to take home. You felt present, like you wanted to lean in. You didn’t want to pick up your phone and scroll through Facebook.

Alyssa:
Whether your event is virtual or in person, your audience doesn’t want another boring 60-minute lecture. They deserve to learn and be inspired by a world-class program they simply cannot turn away from. That’s what you get guaranteed from Joe Mull.

Joe:
(Live Keynote Clip) We can all agree. We want our employees to care and try, but care and try isn’t about competence? It’s about commitment. And commitment can’t be bought. It can only be earned. Your number one job as a leader is to cultivate commitment.

Alyssa:
For more information, visit joemull.com/speaking.

 

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